Adulting

 

I feel like I've had to do more adulting in the last 2 months than I had in the last 2 years.  Which yes I recognize was a way in which I let my ex down in our marriage. I defaulted to him so often that I honestly forgot how to tackle some things on my own. For this I am truly sorry. 

It has also made the last month especially a very steep learning curve.  Figuring out the divorce, so much paperwork, needing numbers and tax codes. Getting work done on the car, renewing AAA and getting a tire replaced and setting up appointments for the car to get some serious work before my summer roadtrip. Budgeting. Actually thinking about money and saving for my future for the first time in about 5 years. Not having someone else to rely on is going to make me a better more independent person, but it's a lot all at once. 

Realizing how much of what should have been our joint responsibilities I put on my ex leaves me disappointed in myself. He deserved a partner and I wasn't always that in the ways I think he needed me. 

C