Lonely
I've spent a lot of time lonely. Lonely in relationships and lonely single. I spent years as a kid and young adult lonely not understanding how to make or keep friends. Honestly a lot of days recently I've felt like fraud. I literally teach a class on social skills, and it continues to be something I struggle with on a very deep level. I spent much of my marriage lonely. In a home with someone but lonely. Which means honestly I'm sure he was too. We couldn't figure out how to connect in a way that worked for the other person. Honestly probably never should have gotten married, we didn't really know each other, didn't know what we would be like together all the time, didn't know how we would handle really hard times, and as a result I was lonely a lot. I left my marriage over 2 years ago. I spent the first 8 months "dating myself" trying desperately to not be alone, because I couldn't handle being in quiet spaces by myself, so I was out in ...
