Tics

 No not the kind of ticks that can give you lyme disease. The kind that are often associated with Tourette Syndrome (TS). I don't have TS, but I do have motor tics. 

Tics are irregular, uncontrollable, unwanted, and repetitive movements of muscles that can occur in any part of the body. Movements of the limbs and other body parts are known as motor tics. Involuntary repetitive sounds, such as grunting, sniffing, or throat clearing, are called vocal tics.

I can sometimes suppress them, but really shouldn't as that just means they come out more aggressively later.  Traveling with motor tics has been interesting thus far.  My tics are limited almost exclusively to my right arm; so I always keep my left hand on the wheel.  If they are starting to build on each other- yes this is a thing that happens, I pull over and wait for them to pass. 

While I haven't pinned down 1 specific trigger, stress is at the top of the list, anything that makes me overly anxious (LA TRAFFIC) can trigger them. But I also can tic when I'm really excited or happy. Though those tics tend to be less self attacking and more into the universe. 

For the most part they are just an annoyance, but they can become quite painful, as I am hitting myself in the majority of my motor tics. 

THE CLAW*: Repeated tapping of my body with open 5 finger hand (like you are reaching out to grab something). Mostly on my right shoulder, but can also impact my chest, and right leg. This tic often morphs into THE SLAP. 

THE SLAP*: Repeated slapping, of my chest with open hand where the 4 fingers are touching. This can be very painful. It does bruise and can trigger other tics. 

THE WHIP*: A limp wrist and hand jerk either up towards the body or down and away from the body- no physical contact is made, but it can be extremely painful in the wrist after many repetitions. (This is one of the few tics that also occurs on the left side)

THE HEAD JERK*: When my head and sometimes shoulder jerk upwards and to the right. Typically not repetitive in a single attack. 

PLAYING THE PIANO*: Most people never even notice this one.  My right does single finger movements downward.  While again this can cause wrist pain, it doesn't harm me. 

I have accepted most of myself at this point in my life, but if I could remove anything I deal with, my tics would be close to the top of my list. As a result of my tics my back pain has increased, I have chronic shoulder pain, it is painful for me to actually play the piano (though I do still love it), my wrist (which takes a large brunt of all these tics) is in constant pain- even with medication. 

*Please note these are MY names for them for the purposes of describing them to you online. 

Signing off for now

-C