Mesa Verde

 Mesa day 1

I enjoyed the loops to do look outs short quick hikes easy enough enough paths. The visitor center at the start of the park is also quite informative and provides a lot of historical information on the people that lived on these lands. 

Hailstorms welcomed me to the to the campground; followed by torrential rain. During a break in the storm, I was able to get my tents set up. I then sat in my car and listened to an audiobook.

When the storm had passed, but the sky was still filled with clouds, I drove to Parkpoint, a place I had earlier in the day, but what I knew would make for fantastic views of sunset given it’s the highest point in the park. My highest points might be getting lower; this one just over 8000 feet.

But the views are staying spectacular. It did make for an incredible sunset.

I drove back down to my campground, hoping that I would see some stars however, the cloud cover made that nearly impossible. The moon is incredible brighter than the sun. The universe’s perfect night light. 

Mesa day 2

Woke up early 

Went on a morning hike before it got too hot. Spruce Canyon- the reminder that what hikes down must hike back up. I enjoyed the museum but it looks like it will get much better after the renovation are done. 

I went up to park point- the highest in the park again to enjoy the view. 

Went to balcony house around 1:30 it had just started to rain. By the time the tour started over half the people had left the tour and the rain was getting worse and turning into hail. 3 min into the tour and I was drenched. 

I overcame some challenges today. I climbed a 30+ foot ladder on a cliff edge- in the rain and crawled through very small tunnels to get out of the cliff dwellings. After yesterday’s pain and anger I needed to face some fears on my own. 

The rain had lightened up a bit for me to get to my car but quickly turned and got much worse including lightening now. I couldn’t think about trying to make dinner. So I found a brewery in Durango to drive to and enjoyed a beer and a pastie(comfort food) before returning to camp. Thankfully my tents both survived and I should be able to get a good night sleep before I head to Utah tomorrow. Only 4 more parks to go.

Honestly I am feeling ready to go home, but know the next few days will be good for me too. 

Day 3

Wind and storms ripped through the camp last night. so hard it picked up the corners of my tent ripping the stakes out of the ground, my body, the only thing holding my tent to the ground. It’s kind of how I felt about my life the last seven months my body is the only thing holding me to the ground. Holding me down as my entire entire world ripped apart.

I meant  my vows when I said them. I meant till death to us part I didn’t realize it would be the death of my heart and that my body would have to keep living. didn’t realize my soul would feel so broken and I would have to keep going. Marriage is hard and we both gave up in so many ways and I wanted to put the pieces back together. I wanted to try but living in a place where someone is indifferent to you is a hell I don’t wish on anybody and last night as the storm tried to rip my tent apart, I felt like I was reliving those days. As I approach the finite end of my marriage, the legal end of my marriage I feel like my tent in the wind last night doing my best to anger myself to the ground. Everything trying to rip me apart.