If you read my previous blog, you know last night was awful for so many different reasons. So the first thing I did today after getting to Internet access was to cancel my campground and book a hotel for the next three nights in Moab. The thought of being at a remote campsite without access to running water in 100° heat didn’t sound or feel like a good choice for me. So I did something else.
When I started planning this trip back in August of last year, I thought I was a healthy marriage. I had hoped that the man that I am no longer with me for parts of this trip, or that in seeing that, I could take on a camping trip and be outdoors and hike every day that maybe we could do something like this together in the future. We could take a trip that was my pace of outdoors, and that would be enough. I realized this morning that I’ve been trying to prove my worth and value to him while I’ve been on this trip to prove my worth and value to someone who has made very clear that they aren’t interested in me. So I don’t need to push myself past my limits I can have a hotel for three nights. I can take care of me because I’m the only person who’s going to do it.
On my drive up to Moab I stopped at the needles district section of Canyon lands national Park, and did a 2.4 Mile hike and spent Time totally alone in meditation on the edge of a cliff, reminding myself to be good to me to care for myself and to do what I always tell my students to do which is to put your mental health first.
I checked in at my hotel right at three relaxing for about an hour before I felt like I could stand up in a shower got clean went out for dinner got myself some well-deserved frozen yogurt given that it was 97° at 7 PM and made an early night of it at my hotel. Knowing that tonight, I will not have to worry about my tent blowing away or hail or rain or snow or dehydration or exhaustion. I think I’m finally ready to start healing.
Day 2
Had a relaxing morning, Before driving up to Arches. Based on the fact that it was only 80° when I got there I made the decision to take on the hike today because my pass for tomorrow is late in the afternoon. I don’t trust that I’ll be able to do it then.
So today I took on the devil and I won. Some of the barriers that I’ve gotten in the way of me hiking in the past, are fears of vertical drop offs having to scramble and having to keep track of when it’s not clearly marked, I did all of those things today I will admit to losing a few times, I still made it out. It took me just under four hours To do a 5 1/2 mile hike where the top grade was 60% and 30% or more of the trail was 8% or more that’s a lot for me and I am very proud of my body for carrying me through. It was also horrifying, but I’m proud of myself.
After four hours of hiking, a completely depleted body I decided that was enough for today and I will do the simple walks at arches tomorrow.
I want to be clear that you never have to earn Bread pudding, but I did earn it tonight
Day 3- The highest highest, and the lowest lowest
Doing a zip line is on my dating myself bucket list and I’ve seen dozens of signs pretty much everywhere that I’ve gone this summer. After the hike, I did yesterday the thought of waking up tomorrow morning and doing an intense hike did not sound fun zip lining across however absolutely sounded fun, so I got the last 8 AM spot. 
Zip lining was the highest of highs. The feeling of weightlessness of being completely free was needed.
After the tour, I went to a local spot called Jailhouse Café for I couldn’t decide between the two pancakes, Swedish or ginger apple so I got one of each; The ginger with Dutch apple butter was my favorite.
I walked back to my hotel. I had one freeze dried peach, crisp, and had a crown pop out. After 11 dentists within a five hour radius, because yes, Moab is in fact the middle of nowhere. 4 Were totally out of office for the week, And I’m on 7 waitlist. And was told pretty much every time not to keep my hopes up because I’m not the only one on the waitlist. I have things for the pain and I can go to a shop today to get dental cement to try to temporarily fix it, But realizing that I have to do all of this, these are the days that in solo travel. It would be really nice if there was someone else here so I didn’t have to feel alone.
I started today on the highest of highs and my lunch. I’m crying in my hotel room not because I’m solo right now or at least not exclusively because of that but because my whole life is a solo adventure now. And there’s a lot of fear that.
I considered staying in my hotel room all day and honestly, it would’ve been a valid response some days just need to be Turned off, But there were a few things in arches that I still wanted to see, and I had a time to pass for three so I got myself to arches and made sure to get to double arch And delicate arch to really feel like I’ve done the park 
but at 104° outside I couldn’t enjoy much more than that so I called it quits. Because I really don’t need another emergency this trip.
Honestly, at 104° It was too hot to get in the pool outside when I got back from the park. So I made dinner in my hotel room and relaxed until it was cool enough to get in a pool.
When the temperature friendly dipped below 100 I went down to the pool and definitely enjoyed cooling off before heading to bed
Day4 I woke up this morning and packed up the hotel room and headed for island in the sky. Within Canyon lands. Moab itself is remote enough, but canyonlands takes that remote us to a whole new level. Didn’t do any hiking today because I was already hot and just wasn’t in the mood for anything resembling the 3 to 7 mile hikes that this district offers. I did get a few nice photos though
That’s it for the Moab area more to come in the next blog
No comments:
Post a Comment