What most people don't know is what a mask that is. It is so much easier to be that person, than to deal with what's really going on. To explain my day to day. To give the real and honest answer to "how are you?"
I live with chronic pain and illness. On countless occasions I've been told I'm "making it up", or "it's all in my head", or "there is nothing physically wrong with me that they can tell". But that doesn't mean it isn't real to me. That doesn't take the anguish away.
I've had migraines since I was 2. I figured it out once. I've spent more of my life with a migraine than without one. I work through them, drive through them, live through them, because I don't really have another choice. Medication can reduce how often they happen and can sometimes stop them, but not always. It's still something that I deal with weekly at least.
I've always had stomach problems. And I've tried every possible diet out there. I've cut carbs, dairy ,gluten, sugar, I've been vegetarian and vegan currently trying to cut out soy though I'm just really sick right now so I'll eat anything that feels okay. I struggle with IBS which is the worst because a food can be fine one day and horrible the next and give no indication.
I'm in pain. I've had several back injuries involving my skills and spine. I don't think I've ever gotten back to a base line. But instead found a new level of pain to live with after each one. This impacts sitting, standing and piano the most.
I also struggle with anxiety and depression. Even on good days I often feel lonely, or struggle because of the other things going on in my life.
I'm not sharing this to have you feel bad for me. But to remind you not go judge anyone by how they present themselves any given day and remember we all have our stories and baggage we carry with us. Most of the world just has no idea.
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