Monday is my wedding anniversary. It would have been 7 years today. I've been dreading today for the last few weeks. On several occasions I have had several full blown panic attacks thinking about today. Cried more tears than I have in a while and feels like in elephant has been on my chest for at least the last 10 days. I intentionally filled my calendar the last week of school to stop or try to stop fixating on it.
This year it happens to be the last full day of school. Every year it will be my grandfather's birthday. Every 7 years or so it will be fathers day. I picked this day to honor people who helped me get where I was at that point. Now I just hope at some point it stops causing me pain.
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about anniversary gifts. I didn't actually buy anything though I will absolutely get myself a cocktail tonight, but I had gotten a cute dish towel a year or 2 ago that was all of the anniversaries. The 7th anniversary is Copper. So maybe a Moscow Mule to drink today, maybe not.
I drive around the 1st anniversary gift we essentially got for each other. We bought the Subaru on June 18th 2018. I am thankful for this car and the ability it gives me to start over, even if a part of it will always be attached to a day I'd just as soon forget.
No comments:
Post a Comment