I don't miss him but...

 I don't miss him but I grieve the loss of what I thought we had. 

I don't miss him but I deal with immense anxiety leading up to see him. 

I don't miss him but my heart races and not in a good way when I'm around him. 

Those aren't butterflies they are warning signals!

I don't miss him but I fall apart after I see him. 

I don't miss him but I want to look great when I have to see him. 

So he knows what he lost. 

I don't miss him but I still feel.

I desperately want to not feel.