1 year later

It was only supposed to be 2 weeks.  

A two-week quarantine and then back to school as usual. 

Then it was 6-weeks

But life as usual has never come. 

It's been 52 weeks and we are still so far from normal. 

I'm not even sure I know what normal is any more. 

Our "new normal" as it were feels like a lingering nightmare that I cannot seem to wakeup from. 

It's a luxury that I GET TO see students in person 3 days a week. 

It's a luxury to GET TO work from my classroom; to GET TO be "in building". 

My mental health and survival have become a luxury. 

And what is a luxury to me, feels like a death sentence to others. 

How did our system become so broken? 

I did not become a teacher to teach from behind a screen. I came into this role to show kids what they can do. To help them overcome the barriers that feel insurmountable. But I cannot overcome this barrier. 

This barrier of the computer, put in place to keep us safe, now holds us hostage.  

I have gone through so many emotions about "Back to school".  I'm still not sure I have a fully formed opinion on it, but I need to be at school.  I need to be with kids. For me. For my health and well-being. And who am I to try to limit that access for kids, knowing what I desperately need for me. 

It was just supposed to be 2 weeks. It's now been 52 and I don't see an end this year.  So many more lost experiences, lost interactions, lost relationships, lost connections. 

We are still learning though.  

There are things I have learned, skills I have focused on and tools that I have discovered during this pandemic experience that have made my teaching better. That have made my classroom more accessible and engaging.  

Nearpod is coming with me when we go back into school, it may look different than it does online, but it's too good to not bring back. 

I've learned to shut up more.  Less lecture more small group and independent work time. 

Written and verbal responses- While we wont have the chat in class, we will have whiteboards.  Students can write answers too. I have seen so much increased engagement by saying "Raise your hand or type in the chat" or "Everyone type in the chat but don't hit enter til I say GO".  Why not do that with whiteboards? 

I've solidified the importance of 1:1 meetings.  I've always done them, but now they feel so much more important; for me and for the kids.  They turn on their cameras giving me a glimmer of hope for a return to some sense of normal. I hear about them. We provide each other with human connection and for 30 minutes every 2 weeks I provide a safe space to talk where they know they are listened to and heard. 

The continued reminder to my students that the only person I am comparing them to, is themselves and that progress in a pandemic looks different sounds different feels different, but that doesn't make it worth less.

I don't know what the rest of this school year holds. I know I am thankful I am able to go in and do a portion of my job in person; though all classes are still taught virtually at our level. I am thankful for the team of people I work with, who help me know that even though it sucks, we support each other. 

I'm thankful that I have 1 vaccine dose on board and will get another soon.

 I am hopeful that next year I get to meet my students on the first day of school and learn them by their voices and faces rather than initials or teams pictures. Until then we just keep surviving 1 day at a time.

Signing off for now

-C