Monday, January 9, 2017
Wedding planning---a fun and stressful time
The act of getting married should be wonderful, but it is also so incredibly stressful and distracting. I am glad we have a venue and a date and a caterer and a groom--he's kind of the most important part. That takes a lot of the stress away. But now the detail things are starting to set in. Actually setting and keeping to a budget is setting in. Being firm in the size of wedding that I want, even if that means some people don't get a +1. Setting up appointments and samplings and trials and photos and cards. I realized this morning that with the amount that J travels, much of this is on me and me alone. And then there's the fact I have a full time job. My goal is to not think about planning while I am at work. From 7-2 it's about the kids. Try to keep me honest to that okay.
Friday, January 6, 2017
Dresden
12-23-16
Today was a day of travel. After about 8 hours and missing a connection in Hof we made it to Dresden. Upon arriving to the hotel, we discovered a small Christmas market outside our front door. Yay more Gluhwein. This market had an amazing apple based wine that was perfect on a cold evening. There was a beautiful church next door, with an interesting history. Built in the 18th century it was destroyed in a fire, and rebuilt before the turn of the century. It was then destroyed again in the fire bombing of dresden during WWII and rebuilt again, opening in 2005, but it looks the same as it did in the 18th century, which is very interesting and strange at the same time. The firebombed past makes Dresden an interesting city to visit, because you have to remind yourself, that while it looks old, most of the city was rebuilt to look the way it did before WWII.
J and I enjoyed Brats and Gluhwein in the Christmas market. We also tried coco and a Wild Goulash with boar and deer.
The hotel in Dresden was the best yet. Steam room, Saunas (3) and an outdoor hot tub to enjoy on a cool night. What a treat. We slept great.
12-24-16
Today is Christmas Eve. Breakfast in the lounge morning sauna which was very relaxing then off to see the oldest Christmas Market in Germany. Of course 2 more mugs came home with us (ours are different this time though) after 2 wonderful cups of coco. After another bowl of Goulash, we got in line for Church. Yes you read it right, line for church. It was suggested that we line up an hour in advance to get a seat at church, they weren't kidding. And while we didn't understand anything said it was still a beautiful service. We laid low today, just had dinner in the lounge and called home. We were both feeling homesick at this point, away from family and all.
12-25-16
Merry Christmas. J and I opted to not stand in line in the cold for a service we wouldn't understand anyway. Breakfast again in the lounge. J has got me into Macchiatos --Yummy
After J took a Steam and i took a Sauna we decided to explore Dresden. It surprised us how many restaurants were open on Christmas day. We had an amazing Christmas Dinner at a local steak house. J and I both went home that night with very happy bellies. In addition to the red meat I had my first German beer of the trip--A very tasty red ale.
SO to summarize Christmas, I had red meat, and red ale with my red-haired man. I am a lucky lady.
On the way back to the hotel we listen to a pianist on a grand piano outside our hotel. It was magical to say the least.
12-26-16 We'd planned several things for today but they were all closed for the holiday, so we took it as a day to relax. Off to Munich tomorrow
Today was a day of travel. After about 8 hours and missing a connection in Hof we made it to Dresden. Upon arriving to the hotel, we discovered a small Christmas market outside our front door. Yay more Gluhwein. This market had an amazing apple based wine that was perfect on a cold evening. There was a beautiful church next door, with an interesting history. Built in the 18th century it was destroyed in a fire, and rebuilt before the turn of the century. It was then destroyed again in the fire bombing of dresden during WWII and rebuilt again, opening in 2005, but it looks the same as it did in the 18th century, which is very interesting and strange at the same time. The firebombed past makes Dresden an interesting city to visit, because you have to remind yourself, that while it looks old, most of the city was rebuilt to look the way it did before WWII.
J and I enjoyed Brats and Gluhwein in the Christmas market. We also tried coco and a Wild Goulash with boar and deer.
The hotel in Dresden was the best yet. Steam room, Saunas (3) and an outdoor hot tub to enjoy on a cool night. What a treat. We slept great.
12-24-16
Today is Christmas Eve. Breakfast in the lounge morning sauna which was very relaxing then off to see the oldest Christmas Market in Germany. Of course 2 more mugs came home with us (ours are different this time though) after 2 wonderful cups of coco. After another bowl of Goulash, we got in line for Church. Yes you read it right, line for church. It was suggested that we line up an hour in advance to get a seat at church, they weren't kidding. And while we didn't understand anything said it was still a beautiful service. We laid low today, just had dinner in the lounge and called home. We were both feeling homesick at this point, away from family and all.
12-25-16
Merry Christmas. J and I opted to not stand in line in the cold for a service we wouldn't understand anyway. Breakfast again in the lounge. J has got me into Macchiatos --Yummy
After J took a Steam and i took a Sauna we decided to explore Dresden. It surprised us how many restaurants were open on Christmas day. We had an amazing Christmas Dinner at a local steak house. J and I both went home that night with very happy bellies. In addition to the red meat I had my first German beer of the trip--A very tasty red ale.
SO to summarize Christmas, I had red meat, and red ale with my red-haired man. I am a lucky lady.
On the way back to the hotel we listen to a pianist on a grand piano outside our hotel. It was magical to say the least.
12-26-16 We'd planned several things for today but they were all closed for the holiday, so we took it as a day to relax. Off to Munich tomorrow
ULM
12-20-2016
Our tummies were mad about the "Snowballs" in Fussen and we needed some "american" food or at least something familiar. Thankful J has me and I discovered that the restaurant below our hotel in Ulm was an Italian Pizzeria. J and I split a pizza (4/5--Think punch pizza) as a snack and settled into our hotel room. This one was interesting. We never would have found it on our own as it was on an old cobble street behind the Ulm Library that you would never suspect a car to go down, but they do. Very hidden and very perfect. From our window we could see the top of ULM minster. The main reason for our visit the tallest church in the world.
After settling in we set out to explore Ulm...my goal see the church. As we got closer it was clear that the church was the center of a bustling Christmas Market--Our main reason for Germany at Christmas. We were not disappointed. Christmas Markets in Germany are known for their Glühwein or mulled wine. Each tent at each market has their own variations. Additionally each market has it's own mug. So when you buy your wine you pay for the wine and a deposit on the mug. Each time you get more from any station, they refill your mug. If you want your deposit back simply return the mug, or do as J and i did and bring home a collection of mugs, reminding you where you were and when as each mug has it's own decoration and year on it. Really ceramic mugs for 2Euro each makes for the very best souvenirs. In Ulm Glogg, a traditional Swedish or Norwegian Mulled wine was our favorite. On the first night J and I shared a Feurewurst--or Fire wurst, which while good was too spicy for me, though J seemed to enjoy it.
The church bells in Ulm (and Germany in general) made sleep difficult, but we certainly did try.
12-21-16
We started our morning in the Christmas Market with a nutella covered waffle--which OMG this thing was amazing and a warm cup of Chai.
Today we went to the Steiff Museum home to the Original Teddy Bear. The factory is about a 40 minute trip from Ulm by train and walking, but well worth it, though we should have planned the timing of our return trip better--missed the train by 10 minutes and had to wait 40...sorry J :( but back to the bears. I was very giddy about this portion of the trip and J several times noted that I may have been more excited for this than the engagement. But the engagement is long term excitement, the teddy bear factory was immediate gratification. And boy did I enjoy it. The tours are offered in several languages, we had to wait about 10 minutes for an English one. The tour while cheesy was wonderfully enjoyable for me--and I think J enjoyed it as well--though it may just have been due to how excited I was. We got the history of the Steiff family, and of the bears themselves. They have very large stuffed toys that you can sit on. I have one on a unicorn--really all the Fairy Tale dreams came true this trip. And I have a photo of J on a Reindeer--He was very sweet to put up with me.
After the tour was done, I got myself a very special souvenir, my very own Steiff bear. It is perfect. We walked around Giengen an der Brenz (a small town where the factory is located) for a bit, J got us pretzels and we walked back to the train station and missed our train--again sorry.
We opted for J's choice for dinner tonight, and anyone who knows him should know that means mexican. Yes mexican in Germany. He seemed to be happy with the choice. He had a burrito and I had a chicken quesadilla. After dinner it was off to get more mulled wine. This was NOT a sober trip.
Then off to bed listening to the bells again.
12-22-16
We had breakfast at the hotel. It was okay but not as good as the Vitusfort in my opinion.
Church day--The goal was to climb to the top. 169 meters, however, due to the ice, they are only open to the 70meter platform in the winter. It was still cool to go up and get a view of the market from above. Also going up tiny spiral steps is dizzying and hard on the knees so 70 meters is fine. We explored the inside of the church as well and were able to listen to the Organist practice. I love the sound of organ music and always wished that I'd learned how to play. I almost get weak in the knees and could listen to it for hours.
For lunch I had Texas BBQ Pulled Pork for lunch from one of the stands in the Market. The bun is wrong it was on a multi-grain roll but other than that for 3.60Euro really not a bad deal. We went back to the hotel after lunch to rest for a bit as I was getting a head ache. J was really good and took care of me when I wasn't feeling well--this is a good sign for our future together.
For dinner J had the BBQ I'd had at lunch and I stuck with a bratwurst. My belly was happy and so was his, more mulled wine made it easier to sleep through the church bells. Tomorrow we are off to Dresden for Christmas and I am excited for what's in store for us there.
For those keeping track our food in Germany has been: Irish, Italian, Mexican, Texan and finally German.
Pizza: 4/5
Mexican food 2.5/5 but really what are we expecting in Germany
BBQ 3/5 would have maybe been higher if it was on the right bun.
Hotel: 3.5/5 Great location, strange bathroom and a feeling of being in a mirror maze. We were on the 3rd floor of a walk up, nearly slipped several times.
Our tummies were mad about the "Snowballs" in Fussen and we needed some "american" food or at least something familiar. Thankful J has me and I discovered that the restaurant below our hotel in Ulm was an Italian Pizzeria. J and I split a pizza (4/5--Think punch pizza) as a snack and settled into our hotel room. This one was interesting. We never would have found it on our own as it was on an old cobble street behind the Ulm Library that you would never suspect a car to go down, but they do. Very hidden and very perfect. From our window we could see the top of ULM minster. The main reason for our visit the tallest church in the world.
After settling in we set out to explore Ulm...my goal see the church. As we got closer it was clear that the church was the center of a bustling Christmas Market--Our main reason for Germany at Christmas. We were not disappointed. Christmas Markets in Germany are known for their Glühwein or mulled wine. Each tent at each market has their own variations. Additionally each market has it's own mug. So when you buy your wine you pay for the wine and a deposit on the mug. Each time you get more from any station, they refill your mug. If you want your deposit back simply return the mug, or do as J and i did and bring home a collection of mugs, reminding you where you were and when as each mug has it's own decoration and year on it. Really ceramic mugs for 2Euro each makes for the very best souvenirs. In Ulm Glogg, a traditional Swedish or Norwegian Mulled wine was our favorite. On the first night J and I shared a Feurewurst--or Fire wurst, which while good was too spicy for me, though J seemed to enjoy it.
The church bells in Ulm (and Germany in general) made sleep difficult, but we certainly did try.
12-21-16
We started our morning in the Christmas Market with a nutella covered waffle--which OMG this thing was amazing and a warm cup of Chai.
Today we went to the Steiff Museum home to the Original Teddy Bear. The factory is about a 40 minute trip from Ulm by train and walking, but well worth it, though we should have planned the timing of our return trip better--missed the train by 10 minutes and had to wait 40...sorry J :( but back to the bears. I was very giddy about this portion of the trip and J several times noted that I may have been more excited for this than the engagement. But the engagement is long term excitement, the teddy bear factory was immediate gratification. And boy did I enjoy it. The tours are offered in several languages, we had to wait about 10 minutes for an English one. The tour while cheesy was wonderfully enjoyable for me--and I think J enjoyed it as well--though it may just have been due to how excited I was. We got the history of the Steiff family, and of the bears themselves. They have very large stuffed toys that you can sit on. I have one on a unicorn--really all the Fairy Tale dreams came true this trip. And I have a photo of J on a Reindeer--He was very sweet to put up with me.
After the tour was done, I got myself a very special souvenir, my very own Steiff bear. It is perfect. We walked around Giengen an der Brenz (a small town where the factory is located) for a bit, J got us pretzels and we walked back to the train station and missed our train--again sorry.
We opted for J's choice for dinner tonight, and anyone who knows him should know that means mexican. Yes mexican in Germany. He seemed to be happy with the choice. He had a burrito and I had a chicken quesadilla. After dinner it was off to get more mulled wine. This was NOT a sober trip.
Then off to bed listening to the bells again.
12-22-16
We had breakfast at the hotel. It was okay but not as good as the Vitusfort in my opinion.
Church day--The goal was to climb to the top. 169 meters, however, due to the ice, they are only open to the 70meter platform in the winter. It was still cool to go up and get a view of the market from above. Also going up tiny spiral steps is dizzying and hard on the knees so 70 meters is fine. We explored the inside of the church as well and were able to listen to the Organist practice. I love the sound of organ music and always wished that I'd learned how to play. I almost get weak in the knees and could listen to it for hours.
For lunch I had Texas BBQ Pulled Pork for lunch from one of the stands in the Market. The bun is wrong it was on a multi-grain roll but other than that for 3.60Euro really not a bad deal. We went back to the hotel after lunch to rest for a bit as I was getting a head ache. J was really good and took care of me when I wasn't feeling well--this is a good sign for our future together.
For dinner J had the BBQ I'd had at lunch and I stuck with a bratwurst. My belly was happy and so was his, more mulled wine made it easier to sleep through the church bells. Tomorrow we are off to Dresden for Christmas and I am excited for what's in store for us there.
For those keeping track our food in Germany has been: Irish, Italian, Mexican, Texan and finally German.
Pizza: 4/5
Mexican food 2.5/5 but really what are we expecting in Germany
BBQ 3/5 would have maybe been higher if it was on the right bun.
Hotel: 3.5/5 Great location, strange bathroom and a feeling of being in a mirror maze. We were on the 3rd floor of a walk up, nearly slipped several times.
Fussen/ Hopfensee--Engagement
Well we left on the 17th and arrived the morning of the 18th in Munich. I will spare the flight details, because they stress me out, but we arrived in one piece and that's all that matters. We took trains to Fussen. Getting train tickets was much easier than we thought it would be because you can use cards at the airport ticket stations. (There will be a post about things I wish I'd know before going to Germany post later that will expand on this). The train ride was beautiful and J let me sleep most of the time (he's the best). Once in Fussen we took a cab to Hopfensee where our hotel was located. Vitusfort is an Irish Inn located above an Irish bar in Germany. So with beautiful mountain and lake views we ate Irish food and drank Irish beer our first night in Germany.
Woke up on the 19th (*engagement day) to a fresh snow fall just enough to make everything sparkle. The snow capped mountains in the distance were a beautiful reminder of how blessed we are to be able to take such an amazing trip. We had a wonderful breakfast in the bar-- a great start to a day of many steps (over 26,000 by the time we were done). We took a cab to the base of Neuschwanstein Castle (famous for being the one that Disney based Cinderella's castle off of). I recommend getting there early so that you can get tickets as they sell out fast and are for assigned times. The tours are a bit pricey and if I could have done the castle without the tour I would have--but that's not an option. Our tour was 90 minutes after we got there so we walked up to Hohenschwangau the Castle King Ludwig II actually lived in as a child (he built Neuschwanstein but only lived there 70 days). We enjoyed taking photos outside Hohenschwangau, but did not take the tour there (Though our hotel clerk suggested it for a more historical view if you are interested in that). With about an hour to go, we started the walk down from Hohenschwangau and up to Neuschwanstein. The trip should take most adults 40 minutes, with children plan for more time. There is a carriage that you can pay 6euro each for to take you up, but it isn't a romantic carriage. It is a large buggy for about 10-12 people and it take 30 minutes behind smelly horses. Even if you take the carriage the last 10 minutes of the walk are on your own. If that's your thing go for it, but we walked.
The just fallen snow made the setting that much more like a fairy-tale. Which was a nice distraction from the 40 minute walk up the hill. My legs burned on this walk, it's fairly steep in some places and is not for the faint of heart. During the last 10 minutes of the walk there are places to stop for snacks, a pretzel or donuts. We made it up the hill before our tour and wanted to explore, however discovered that the roads behind and above the castle were closed because of winter weather, so some of the photos J was excited to take couldn't happen. He seemed more frustrated by this than I typically expect from him. (Which would make more sense later) as he had planned to propose up there, with a view down onto the castle. But I didn't know that, so I was just focused on being excited for the tour. We did the audio phone tour, again really basic info, I could have gotten from a tourist book, I would have rather learned about how it was used during WWII (To hide art the Nazi's stole), but it was very straight forward. The Castle is beautiful, and over the top, but it's a castle, so what do you expect?
After the tour (Which lasts about 30 minutes), we walked back down to Alpsee (the lake in the town in which the castles live) to take photos. After a bit I convinced J to get lunch. We ate some local fair and J had a beer. For being a tourist town the food we got was pretty affordable. (but look out for the post about things I wish I'd known). After Lunch J stated that he wasn't done taking pictures and wanted to go back. I was not excited by this, I was cold and wanted to go back and explore old town Fussen a bit more. But J was insistent, we walked down a path around the lake and J asked me to hold his bag so he could get his camera out. He took a few more pictures and then asked me if all of my fairy tale dreams had come true?---earlier in the day as we were walking back from the castle I mentioned that this was making all of my fairy tale dreams come true. At first I said yes, then I started to realize what was happening and said, "Well almost". J said something to the effect of, "Well let's fix that". He told me he loves me and asked me to marry him. After squealing a bit, I said YES!
We took the bus back to Fussen and walked around town. We enjoyed the swans on the river, and walking along the path. Getting lost and finding Jesus and Mary on a random road in Fussen. We stumbled on a shop that sells "Snowballs" Little balls of dough scraps that are covered held together with sugar and covered in chocolate. Our mistake of course was only eating that for dinner. But we'd learn that lesson the next morning. After exploring Fussen we took the bus back to our hotel in Hofensee and made very exciting phone calls to family about the engagement. Hearing how excited the excitement in our families voices made the experience that much more special. Looking back the only thing I wish I would have only told family and let J and I just enjoy our engagement for awhile. I wish it could have been without social media buzz for a bit longer.
The morning of the 20th I woke up and had to pinch myself to realize that I'm engaged. YAY! exciting. Great breakfast again very tasty. Took a few wrapped cheeses for the road and headed out. We quickly left the land of beautiful mountains and exchanged it for something that looked like the prairies of southern Minnesota. --- Journal to Continue in ULM, Germany
Food at Vitusfort Dinner: 3/5
Food at Vitusfort Breakfast 4/5
Accommodations at Vitusfort 4/5 The room was beautiful, the view was break taking, but it was difficult to leave on our last day, because the hotel clerk was not around in the morning to help us call for a cab and they were closed for dinner on Monday nights and the places she suggested in town were all closed for the holidays.
Woke up on the 19th (*engagement day) to a fresh snow fall just enough to make everything sparkle. The snow capped mountains in the distance were a beautiful reminder of how blessed we are to be able to take such an amazing trip. We had a wonderful breakfast in the bar-- a great start to a day of many steps (over 26,000 by the time we were done). We took a cab to the base of Neuschwanstein Castle (famous for being the one that Disney based Cinderella's castle off of). I recommend getting there early so that you can get tickets as they sell out fast and are for assigned times. The tours are a bit pricey and if I could have done the castle without the tour I would have--but that's not an option. Our tour was 90 minutes after we got there so we walked up to Hohenschwangau the Castle King Ludwig II actually lived in as a child (he built Neuschwanstein but only lived there 70 days). We enjoyed taking photos outside Hohenschwangau, but did not take the tour there (Though our hotel clerk suggested it for a more historical view if you are interested in that). With about an hour to go, we started the walk down from Hohenschwangau and up to Neuschwanstein. The trip should take most adults 40 minutes, with children plan for more time. There is a carriage that you can pay 6euro each for to take you up, but it isn't a romantic carriage. It is a large buggy for about 10-12 people and it take 30 minutes behind smelly horses. Even if you take the carriage the last 10 minutes of the walk are on your own. If that's your thing go for it, but we walked.
The just fallen snow made the setting that much more like a fairy-tale. Which was a nice distraction from the 40 minute walk up the hill. My legs burned on this walk, it's fairly steep in some places and is not for the faint of heart. During the last 10 minutes of the walk there are places to stop for snacks, a pretzel or donuts. We made it up the hill before our tour and wanted to explore, however discovered that the roads behind and above the castle were closed because of winter weather, so some of the photos J was excited to take couldn't happen. He seemed more frustrated by this than I typically expect from him. (Which would make more sense later) as he had planned to propose up there, with a view down onto the castle. But I didn't know that, so I was just focused on being excited for the tour. We did the audio phone tour, again really basic info, I could have gotten from a tourist book, I would have rather learned about how it was used during WWII (To hide art the Nazi's stole), but it was very straight forward. The Castle is beautiful, and over the top, but it's a castle, so what do you expect?
After the tour (Which lasts about 30 minutes), we walked back down to Alpsee (the lake in the town in which the castles live) to take photos. After a bit I convinced J to get lunch. We ate some local fair and J had a beer. For being a tourist town the food we got was pretty affordable. (but look out for the post about things I wish I'd known). After Lunch J stated that he wasn't done taking pictures and wanted to go back. I was not excited by this, I was cold and wanted to go back and explore old town Fussen a bit more. But J was insistent, we walked down a path around the lake and J asked me to hold his bag so he could get his camera out. He took a few more pictures and then asked me if all of my fairy tale dreams had come true?---earlier in the day as we were walking back from the castle I mentioned that this was making all of my fairy tale dreams come true. At first I said yes, then I started to realize what was happening and said, "Well almost". J said something to the effect of, "Well let's fix that". He told me he loves me and asked me to marry him. After squealing a bit, I said YES!
The morning of the 20th I woke up and had to pinch myself to realize that I'm engaged. YAY! exciting. Great breakfast again very tasty. Took a few wrapped cheeses for the road and headed out. We quickly left the land of beautiful mountains and exchanged it for something that looked like the prairies of southern Minnesota. --- Journal to Continue in ULM, Germany
Food at Vitusfort Dinner: 3/5
Food at Vitusfort Breakfast 4/5
Accommodations at Vitusfort 4/5 The room was beautiful, the view was break taking, but it was difficult to leave on our last day, because the hotel clerk was not around in the morning to help us call for a cab and they were closed for dinner on Monday nights and the places she suggested in town were all closed for the holidays.
Thursday, January 5, 2017
Thoughts on marriage- Adam and Eve...the completion of good
Tim Keller's book pointed out to me something I had honestly never noticed. If you grew up in church, you were raised on the story of how God created the Earth and it was good, animals and they were good, land and sea and it was good and so on. But when God created man, it was not good. It was not good for the man to be alone. Because even in perfect harmony with God and living in paradise, Adam was missing connection and relationship with a partner. I believe God created Eve to be in beautiful relationship with Adam. God created each of us to help others be in positive relationships with each other. To support each other in more full relationships with Christ.
Still kind of a work in progress on this one. But I'd never really paid attention to that notation that it was not good that adam was alone.
Still kind of a work in progress on this one. But I'd never really paid attention to that notation that it was not good that adam was alone.
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
What is marriage? ...to me Part 1
Many people look to their parents for examples of what marriage is. I look to mine as what marriage is not. As an example I don't want to follow. I love them both dearly, but their marriage ended in divorce. So as a newly engaged woman, whose marriage do I look to? What do I look to to help me?
My fiance had asked before we were engaged that I read Tim Keller's "The Meaning of Marriage". I had put it off, but finally got the audio book and started listening yesterday. The book utilizes Ephesians 5, which is a chapter I had studied on my own in preparing for a life with J. Trying to set up what a strong marriage will look like. It has been helpful to have a more experienced and well versed look at Ephesians 5, as well as other biblical ideas on marriage.
Other verses I have utilized to prepare my heart are:
Sirach 26:1-16 (it's part of the Apocrypha an addition to the Catholic bible)
Proverbs 31: 10-31
Corinthians 7:1-5
Ephesians 5 --Favorites are 5:25-33
For a long time I was studying Sirach, but in realizing how 1-dimensional it was in it's looking at a good and wicked wife, however true, I needed more.
Proverbs: 31:10-31 Similarly took Sirach Proverbs looks at what a good wife brings to her husband, but outlines what it means to be a noble wife. What that means in regards to my partnership in marriage, but also the type of person it makes me to the community. Not only should I work hard for the benefit of my household. But also open my arms to the poor and be a strong woman of faith.
Specifically
To support my husband in his success--likewise I believe it is a noble husband to support the success of his wife. To support the work that J is doing, as he has supported my goals. There are days the job of being supportive is hard, but never impossible. All things worth having are worth working on, even if it's a compromise. As Timothy Keller stated in his book, being married is about giving up the individual for the betterment of the couple---to me this means not always "Getting your way" to support and better the family. This may mean a move, or more time together or apart that we are used to, more or less travel. Time where we have to focus on the other's goals before our own. J has demonstrated this over and over again, even if he didn't agree with the choices to stay with a job. I hope I can do the same for him throughout our marriage.
To speak with Wisdom, rather than a wicked tongue. -- A personal New Years resolution is to stay out of the gossip and negative conversations at work as they only cause more pain, and are not part of the solution. I believe the same principals can be applied in looking at a relationship and marriage. I want to focus on being part of solutions and problem solving, rather than mindless problem creating.
My favorite verse from this passage is verse 30 because it is the hardest for me to follow and abide by and is a strong reminder to stay faithful. The Verse reads " Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
I have for years struggled with anxiety and body image and have relied on charm, personality and what I look like to hide my issues and failings. In the last year I have been incredibly humbled, and have relied more on the LORD in all of my life more in the last year than I had in the last 10, but I am not perfect and feel that I often fail. But this is who I want to be. This is the reminder I give myself each day, to strive to be more faith and trust in the lord. Looking to God first and asking him what path I should take, looking for his influence and go to the bible for answers in life, rather than living as I was previously--Going along living my life and expecting God to follow. God First. I have taken the advice of my mother and have been starting every morning saying "God use me to do your will today". I still have to do the work and speak with wisdom, but it helps me hold myself accountable. I believe focusing on this is preparing me to not only be a daughter in the Lord, but also a strong and faithful wife.
Corinthians 7: 1-5
While focused on the topic of sexual relations, I believe the verses have a deeper meaning of respect that a husband and his wife show to each other in their relationship. A mans body is not his own, and neither is his wife. They are their for each other.
Ephesians 5:5-33
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband
Specifically
25 and 26 When I met J he opened up so much of God's love for me. So much that I had never experienced, that I didn't know what there. He has supported me through the weakest moments of my life, as Jesus loved and cared for the weak. I have tried to be the same for him. To comfort him when he is struggling.
33 I believe this can be generalized to say a husband and wife must love each other as they love themselves and respect each other as they respect themselves. This is hard. I find it especially difficult when I am struggling to love myself. When I am working through old wounds, trying to overcome previous issues in my life, it is difficult to give all to J as I am weak myself. I need to remember that I am sure sometimes he feels this way. That when he is hurting he cannot give me that fullest love, because he does not love himself to the fullest. This is something i continue to struggle with--anyone who has advice on this matter, I do welcome it.
My fiance had asked before we were engaged that I read Tim Keller's "The Meaning of Marriage". I had put it off, but finally got the audio book and started listening yesterday. The book utilizes Ephesians 5, which is a chapter I had studied on my own in preparing for a life with J. Trying to set up what a strong marriage will look like. It has been helpful to have a more experienced and well versed look at Ephesians 5, as well as other biblical ideas on marriage.
Other verses I have utilized to prepare my heart are:
Sirach 26:1-16 (it's part of the Apocrypha an addition to the Catholic bible)
Proverbs 31: 10-31
Corinthians 7:1-5
Ephesians 5 --Favorites are 5:25-33
For a long time I was studying Sirach, but in realizing how 1-dimensional it was in it's looking at a good and wicked wife, however true, I needed more.
Proverbs: 31:10-31 Similarly took Sirach Proverbs looks at what a good wife brings to her husband, but outlines what it means to be a noble wife. What that means in regards to my partnership in marriage, but also the type of person it makes me to the community. Not only should I work hard for the benefit of my household. But also open my arms to the poor and be a strong woman of faith.
Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character
10 [a]A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Specifically
To support my husband in his success--likewise I believe it is a noble husband to support the success of his wife. To support the work that J is doing, as he has supported my goals. There are days the job of being supportive is hard, but never impossible. All things worth having are worth working on, even if it's a compromise. As Timothy Keller stated in his book, being married is about giving up the individual for the betterment of the couple---to me this means not always "Getting your way" to support and better the family. This may mean a move, or more time together or apart that we are used to, more or less travel. Time where we have to focus on the other's goals before our own. J has demonstrated this over and over again, even if he didn't agree with the choices to stay with a job. I hope I can do the same for him throughout our marriage.
To speak with Wisdom, rather than a wicked tongue. -- A personal New Years resolution is to stay out of the gossip and negative conversations at work as they only cause more pain, and are not part of the solution. I believe the same principals can be applied in looking at a relationship and marriage. I want to focus on being part of solutions and problem solving, rather than mindless problem creating.
My favorite verse from this passage is verse 30 because it is the hardest for me to follow and abide by and is a strong reminder to stay faithful. The Verse reads " Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."
I have for years struggled with anxiety and body image and have relied on charm, personality and what I look like to hide my issues and failings. In the last year I have been incredibly humbled, and have relied more on the LORD in all of my life more in the last year than I had in the last 10, but I am not perfect and feel that I often fail. But this is who I want to be. This is the reminder I give myself each day, to strive to be more faith and trust in the lord. Looking to God first and asking him what path I should take, looking for his influence and go to the bible for answers in life, rather than living as I was previously--Going along living my life and expecting God to follow. God First. I have taken the advice of my mother and have been starting every morning saying "God use me to do your will today". I still have to do the work and speak with wisdom, but it helps me hold myself accountable. I believe focusing on this is preparing me to not only be a daughter in the Lord, but also a strong and faithful wife.
Corinthians 7: 1-5
While focused on the topic of sexual relations, I believe the verses have a deeper meaning of respect that a husband and his wife show to each other in their relationship. A mans body is not his own, and neither is his wife. They are their for each other.
Ephesians 5:5-33
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband
Specifically
25 and 26 When I met J he opened up so much of God's love for me. So much that I had never experienced, that I didn't know what there. He has supported me through the weakest moments of my life, as Jesus loved and cared for the weak. I have tried to be the same for him. To comfort him when he is struggling.
33 I believe this can be generalized to say a husband and wife must love each other as they love themselves and respect each other as they respect themselves. This is hard. I find it especially difficult when I am struggling to love myself. When I am working through old wounds, trying to overcome previous issues in my life, it is difficult to give all to J as I am weak myself. I need to remember that I am sure sometimes he feels this way. That when he is hurting he cannot give me that fullest love, because he does not love himself to the fullest. This is something i continue to struggle with--anyone who has advice on this matter, I do welcome it.
Sunday, January 1, 2017
2016
I promise to put the blog posts for Germany up soon, but had to do this today!
I do a year in review of sometime every year. But if I’m being honest at this very moment I’d like to only focus on the year to come. On being the future “Mrs. McGee”, marrying a man who makes me a better person, who makes me want to be a better person. I am excited for all of the fun wedding planning that comes with that. On enjoying a job and people I really respect working with, Rene, Allison and Carrie. On spending time with my family and friends. But I do understand the importance of reflecting on the last year and growing from it. So without spending too much time dwelling on any one thing here it goes.
I hated my job in Minneapolis. It was making me hate being a teacher, not only were the students difficult, but I was bullied by my employer, and colleagues into making decisions against my better judgement. I was not supported to be successful and that had devastating consequences. I spent a week last year receiving care for mental health issues. I have always had issues with Anxiety and Depression and in January I needed to press the re-set button. I couldn’t do it by myself any more. I share this with you all not to get your sympathy, but because someone has to talk about it. We as a society shame people with mental illnesses, but I’m not ashamed. I needed help and I got it. We should be encouraging people to get healthy, not making them feel bad about it.
I left my job in Minneapolis. But after about a week off I was bored out of my mind. I don’t do well with free time. Never have, so I started to Sub. Between Feb and Oct I worked in 90% of the St. Paul Public Schools and I loved it. I spent 9 weeks at one school as a long term and loved it. Subbing reminded me that I do love teaching, but that I deserve to feel safe and supported at work. I am so excited to be working in St. Paul full time now, wish I didn’t have to travel so much, but I love my job. I love the work I do, and it’s nice to feel more supported in doing it. We all have our rough days in teaching. I’d love to meet a teacher who says their job is easy. But when the hard work pays off, it’s pretty cool.
This summer Jon and I went to South Africa. Truly an experience of a life time, but I don’t think it’s one I will need to repeat. Lesson learned about driving on not great roads on the wrong side of the road---probably not a safe thing to let me do again.
Our other major travel this year came to a close today. Jon and I spent the holidays in Germany, where he made “all my fairy tale dreams come true” by proposing by Cinderella’s castle (which as we found out later was used to hide stolen art during WWII). Jon has stood by me through everything this year. Less than 3 months into a relationship when I was hospitalized he supported my recovery and transitions every day. He has seen me love what I do and hate what I do and supported the journey. He has changed his life plans to support my goals. He has supported my faith blossoming never asking me to be anything more than I am, but supporting me to grow, and connecting me with people who would help me do that. No relationship is easy, but everything worth having is worth working on. I am truly blessed.
This year more than most has taught me how important it is to have good people around. And what a value really good friends are. I don’t know where I’d be with out mine, but I am so thankful for each and every one of you--specifically Emily and Ben for your never failing support and love, Natalie for being the best “almost sister” a girl could ask for--22 years strong. Mama Joan and Monique for being work mama’s near and far, for supporting me and talking me through the really rough ones. And for all that I did not name, you each have played a role in my life, thank you.
P.S. It’s no surprise to anyone that I don’t like our Present-Elect or have any faith he is capable of doing the job he is elected to do. But I cannot change what is, I can however help keep parks clean, work at food banks and shelters, donate my time to the causes I believe in. So instead of continuing a rhetoric of disdain and hate, think about areas you can have a positive impact. God Bless
~Claire
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