Honestly I had to go back and look up the resolutionsI made last year because I couldn't remember it. Which is a Red Flag that it didn't happen.
The goal I set for myself last year was to take care of my mental health.
In some regards I did that and in others I failed.
For a season (summer vacation) my mental health was my priority and I did a really good job of working through things. This summer I only had to worry about myself and making myself happy and that was so freeing; but its not reality. I do think the time I took for myself this summer was important, and while it wont always be 50 days to myself, I do think taking a significant break from the responsibilities of being anything to anyone else is important for me.
I have failed in that I am still struggling to find balance and that often means my mental health is not a priority in my life.
I have gotten better at leaving the tangible computer and papers at work, but I'm not leaving the stress there. I bring the sadness, anxiety, stress, and frustration home with me, which has a negative impact on my personal life, overall health, and my marriage. This year some aspects of my job that I cannot control but that directly impact my workload have reached a critical level. I am grateful for the special education team that I work with, that we are in consensus on pushing back on a system that isn't working.
I am working to ask for what I need and to not apologize for coping in a way that works for me. Eeyore has been coming to work with me a lot lately. Yes I'm in my 30's a bring a stuffed Eeyore to work and No I will not apologize for that. For myself and many other Autistic people, stuffed animals are coping tools and calming supports. Having Eeyore at work helps me manage with classrooms get chaotic, when meetings get out of control and to work through the dozens of micro-aggressions I face daily 1) as a disabled person and 2) as a special education teacher.
I know what it means to have my mental health be in a good place, and I want to get back to that, I'm just not sure of the steps I need to take to get there. So I guess that's the goal again for next year.
Signing off for now
C
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