Why?

 I am having one of those days where I wonder why I still do this work.  An hour after a meeting that started to unravel the few strings that are holding me together at this point. 

Where I wonder why I bother, when the work load, the emotional sacrifice and the commitment of time aren't acknowledged or appreciated. 

Where countless meetings are added every week with no appreciation for what that does to the students I work with or to me. 

Where I wonder why I wrack my brain for all the different ways I can support a kid, when the parent is going to find something to be frustrated about no matter what. 

Where I wonder why I consider putting my whole curriculum on head for 1 kid, just because their parents are litigious. This benefits no one. 

I wonder what's stopping me from saying no? What's stopping me from setting limits? What am I afraid of?

I wonder why I am so willing to try to fix everyone else's problems and issues, but I never try to help myself? 

I know I love teaching, but that's not what this is.  What I did today is not teaching.  Today I checked boxes. Today I monitored class policy.  Today I let the words of someone who has no idea what I have to do to cope every day get under my skin, and make me feel like less than a person. Today I didn't stand up for the sanctity of my classroom, of my teaching methods and of what makes me successful. So why bother? Why do I keep putting myself through this? 

-C