Well that was interesting

I needed a place to post thoughts on the last decade and this seemed as good as space as any.

I've had a lot of time the last few days to sit and thing and reflect on the last 10 years.  The good the bad and the "I'm not going to talk about that on the internet"-  but I think that's really what college, and frankly your twenties in general is for.  - explore, have fun, take calculated and maybe not so calculated risks, get messy, move cross country on a whim because- why the hell not!?!? Work for a mouse, travel, Please TRAVEL- I don't live with regret, I can't I have a good life, but I do wish I'd traveled more when I was younger. 

A lot has happened in the last 10 years. I literally grew up. I became an adult by most peoples definitions.
1) I turned 21
2) I can now legally rent a car without paying a ridiculous fee
3) I pay for my own health care
4) I am no longer on my parents cell phone plan.

Some major traditional life events happened.
1) I finished college
2) I finished grad school
3) I got married
4) I finally got the chance to travel- thanks to my hubby's desire to fill his passport

And a hell of a lot of personal growth happened
1) For 8 years I have been healthfully moving forward from the grips of an eating disorder.  Some days are still hard, there are seasons in my life that make progress difficult, but I know I don't want to go back to where I was.

2) Finally taking my mental health seriously.  I am forever grateful for the people who walked with me during my most challenging and painful days.  Thank you for not giving up on me when I gave up on myself.

3) I am learning to balance work and home. When I first started teaching there was no off switch I worked easily 70 hours week probably more and I didn't take care of myself the way I should have. Over the last 2 years I have started to define more balance. I still work at home, but it's limited to a few hours on Sundays. I plan my IDEA days well (paperwork days for special ed teachers - because yes we do need 8 hours to just sit and do paperwork) and I have a great team that I work well with so I can leave my laptop at work.

4) I've learned to not say everything I'm thinking.  I've learned to be political with appropriate and be a critical advocate when it's required. Sometimes to get what I need I have to hand-hold someone through the process, sometimes you have to convince someone it was there idea in the first place.  I teach HS students, most of my job is biting my tongue and making my students think using this planner was there idea in the first place.

5) I've learned to say NO.  Not in the #Metoo sort of way, though that is certainly part of my history. I have learned to say no to not over-extend myself personally or professionally.

When you first start out in a career you want to please people, you want to look good, because you want to keep your job. So you say Yes. Yes to the bake sale, yes to the most difficult class, yes  to the worst meet times, yes to the dances, yes to the games, yes to saturday school, yes to that extra kid on your case load even though you're way over, yes to teaching in unsafe conditions, yes to keeping your mouth shut about those conditions you say yes.
Similarly when you start dating someone new you say yes to things they want to do- perhaps at the relinquishing of the things that you enjoy- at least I did in my early 20's  I had my fair share of frogs.

In learning to say NO, I have learned how to utilize tools at my disposal that are there to protect me, I am probably the only non-union rep who has read the whole contract cover to cover, and highlighted the important parts that directly apply to my job, not to nit-pick. But to be able to have an educated conversation about expectations, time, and needs.

In learning to say no or that's not my thing in relationships we have balance.  He has things he enjoys, and I have things I enjoy. Sometimes we enjoy those things together--still trying to get him on figure skates. But I don't have to sacrifice my stuff for his, nor does he have to sacrifice crazy epic hikes for me.

6) I've learned I don't need a lot of people, but rather a few good people.

Ten years ago I had a few people in my life that were my close friends and confidants, while a lot has changed in the last 10 years, those people haven't,  and I'm lucky for that.

Here's to less moving, more consistency in work and more travel for the decade ahead.

Cheers to a new decade ahead.